Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
