I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Come on in and take your pants off
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