Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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