I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
