some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
