But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
