Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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