I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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