Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They took my balls.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
