I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just want nice things and good sex
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
