Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
