Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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