You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
