Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
