she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
