I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
