Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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