her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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