that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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