he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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