I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
