We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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