careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
