Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Someone shit on the floor
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
