he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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