they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
