I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
