There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
