They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
