Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
