all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
