Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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