Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
