I like my sex mixed with concussions.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
