just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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