Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
