Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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