He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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