TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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