I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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