just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
