did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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