Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
too bad you live with your parents still
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
