my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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