You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
