you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
