Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
