remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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