we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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