forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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