Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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