whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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