i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
