just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
